


Faithful Steed

by fishfingersandjellybabies



Series: Dad!Jason AU [8]
Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-31
Updated: 2015-08-31
Packaged: 2018-04-18 06:03:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4694822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fishfingersandjellybabies/pseuds/fishfingersandjellybabies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Has Jason mentioned lately how much he hates going to the pet store?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Faithful Steed

**Author's Note:**

> I’ve had pet stores and shelters on my mind lately. Ooops. This would be one that gets their animals from shelters, not breeders. Damian’s about three, and to Jason’s dismay, they are not later banned. Dick does read to him, though, after they go to bed. Pride and Prejudice, at Jason’s request. Jason falls asleep to the lull in Dick’s voice before they get to any sexy times. The evidence from the pet store worker also breaks Dick’s case a few days later.

“This is stupid.” Jason huffed, hiking Damian up on his hip.

“You didn’t _have_ to come.” Dick countered, closing the back door of the car and following after his fellow dad and their baby. Their baby who was already getting fidgety in his excitement.

“Yes I _did_.” Jason drawled. “You just _had_ to be talking about the case within earshot.” He nodded towards Damian. “You just _had_ to mention there might be some evidence in a _pet store_.”

“Pupsssss.” Damian sang, pushing at Jason’s face in an attempt to get down, to run down the strip-mall’s sidewalk towards the small mom-and-pop pet store located at the opposite end. “Keet-ies!”

“I said I was _sorry_.” Dick pouted, coming up on Jason’s free side. Damian grabbed at him, still shouting about the pups and the keet-ies. Dick let Damian grab his fingers, shake them back and forth in his excitement. “I didn’t know you two were done with bathtime. You know I wouldn’t have still been on the phone with Babs, talking about the case, if I did.”

“Mhhm.” Jason hummed in disbelief. He glanced over, eyes incredulous and playful. “We’re _not_ leaving with an animal.”

“Of course not.” Dick nodded as he kissed as Damian’s fingers.

“ _Promise_.” Jason pushed. “Swear on that pretty little _booty_ of yours.”

Dark snorted a laugh. “How about I swear on my life instead?”

“Fair enough.” Jason conceded as they reached the door. Already he could hear the light barking from inside. “Well, go on, beautiful.” He shifted Damian again. “I don’t exactly have the _hands_ to open the door, if you haven’t noticed. And dads before detectives, after all.”

Dick rolled his eyes, but acquiesced, yanking the door open and holding it as Jason royally stepped over the threshold.

Damian was squealing before Dick could even step in behind them.

And it was like a mating call to the animals in the store. The birds all squawked, the kittens fell over themselves trying to get a glimpse at the new arrivals. Some of the younger dogs were in a pen on the floor, and they dragged their paws along the grate surrounding them, in attempts flood Dick and Jason’s feet.

Jason tossed his head back and sighed with a long-suffering groan. “Have I mentioned I _hate_ you today? Because I do.” He rolled his neck to the side. “I was planning on _reading a book_ today, you know.”

“Yes, you’ve said.” Dick leaned over, pecked Jason’s cheek and pulled Damian from his arms. “And yes, I know.” He plopped Damian on the ground, but kept a tight grasp on his hand, a grip Damian was pulling against with all his might. “If it would make you feel better, I’ll read _to_ you later.” He suddenly grinned, wicked and suggestive. “On our bed, after bedtime, you _lounging_ on my leg, and my fingers in your hair. _Any_ book you’d _like_.”

Jason cackled. Because sure, it would probably _start_ that way. It would even be nice, for a while. Romantic. Lovely. But it definitely wouldn’t _end_ that way.

If their son had the capacity (or current attention span) to understand what they were saying, he would have been gagging.

“Yeah, yeah. You _better_.” Jason droned, he leaned down and took Damian’s other hand. “Come on, kiddo. Didi’s gotta go talk to someone.”

Damian didn’t seem to care, already dragging Jason towards the case of kittens on the far wall.

And for a few moments, it was all fine. A store clerk came over, Jason asked if they could hold one of the kittens – to which Damian amended to “No, all _elevenity_ kittens, Baba!” – and their request was granted.

And bless that kitten, it took it all in stride. Took Damian’s kisses and hugs and strange little whispers. Even returned a couple, fell asleep in Damian’s lap when the child sat on the floor.

And that’s where he was. Jason knew. So he thought, he _thought_ , it would be okay to glance away, to look up and check on Dick’s progress.

He could have only looked away for a few seconds, fifteen at most. It would have been shorter, if he didn’t read the body language of the person Dick was talking to. His arms were crossed and he looked annoyed. For a blink, Jason thought he was annoyed at Dick – and the dude was big, he could take Dick down with little more than a punch.  And Jason was ready, _oh_ he was _ready_. Already making plans, thinking up defense maneuvers and ways to get both his baby and his lover out of the store in one piece.

But then he saw the picture Dick had handed the man, the way the man was pointing at one of the people in the image and saying yes or no to whatever Dick was asking. So…not at Dick. Just at the situation Dick was trying to solve.

Good.

And it was _fifteen seconds_. Honestly, couldn’t be longer.

But when he turned back to the floor, both child and kitten were gone.

“How.” Jason deadpanned, spinning around instantly. “How the _hell_ do you keep _doing_ this, you little brat?!”

He dashed across the store, knew he caught Dick’s eye, and stationed himself at the front door. That was the only plus side of their son’s tendency to wander and love of hiding – he always chose the most obvious path of escape.

As he turned back towards the inside of the store, though, he caught a glimpse in the corner. Over by where the older adoptable dogs where, behind thin plastic, where they could be oogled at but not touched.

It was fifteen _fucking seconds_.

Damian was in the crate with what looked like a mastiff. A not-quite-fully-grown mastiff, but a large mastiff nonetheless.

There was no door to the dog from the store-side, only from the back room. Jason could see it, in the small space behind the dog, with the cage door was swung open wide.

Jason could also see Damian _mounting the mastiff like it was a horse_ , kitten perched on his shoulder like a parrot. Could see the dog and kitten _going along with it_ , like the toddler was some sort of Pied Piper.

None of the workers had noticed yet. But they would in a few moments, if the mastiff’s clear path to the employee door that led to the store was any indication.

Jason couldn’t believe this. Damian was _riding_ the dog like he was a damn _pro_.

(He’d take a picture, if he wasn’t so frazzled.)

“Hey.” He suddenly felt Dick at his side, fingers brushing across Jason’s forearm. “I’m all done…um.” He glanced around. “…Where’s Dames?”

Dick’s question was answered when the door on the opposite wall burst open. The mastiff barked, the kitten mewed and Damian let loose a battle cry like he was a top military general.

“ _What_ the-”

“…I think it’s official, babe.” Jason sighed, as Damian pointed right towards them, and the dog followed the order. “We can _never_ go out in public again.”

“…Well. Look on the bright side, gorgeous.” Dick tried, with a weak smile to the workers as he tried to grab the mastiff’s collar, only for the dog to jerk away, carry Damian and the kitten into the maze of aisles. “You’ll never have to come back _here_ if we get permanently banned.”

**Author's Note:**

> [Other things for Nevolition’s Dad!Jason AU](http://fishfingersandjellybabies.tumblr.com/tagged/dad%21jason+au)   
> 


End file.
